I did it. I censored my own art. I painted over the “X-Rated” paintings that I had created a few years prior as part of my “Adam and Eve” series. I painted over all of them except for one that I will display at the end of this blog, (warning.) Why did I do it? Let me tell you why I painted them in the first place.
My Adam and Eve series is meant to be a radical, controversial, new interpretation of the old biblical story, that I will write about extensively in an upcoming blog. I won’t give it all away yet, but I’ll tell you that I don’t take the story literally, but metaphorically as the drama between the Divine Feminine and Masculine within all of us, and their plight in the dualistic reality of existence on Earth. There is an environmentalist slant to the story and it is also highly sexual. In this series of mixed-media paintings, it starts with a few PG13 pieces seen here:
These are symbolic of the freedom of Adam and Eve from their sentence of “knowing good and evil.” They are reuniting as equals in peace and they return to the garden which is the healed Earth. Here they get married in front of the Tree of Life with the whole animal kingdom as their audience. This is the happiest piece of artwork I have ever created.
Then of course, after their happy reunion comes the honeymoon, and things starts to get sexy… I have started about 8 paintings that are Rated R, depicting Adam and Eve making love from a slight distance. These are really sweet and sensual, and I might actually finish them. I won’t show them to you because they are not done.
Then…things keep heating up! I did some X-Rated paintings. Being the mischievous artist that I am, I already skipped to the end of the story and painted some giant close-ups of the sexy-time action. At the time that I painted them, I was exploring in depth the ideas of sexual freedom vs shame surrounding sex. I wanted to raise the question, “Why is sex, something that is a sacred act of creation, shameful and hidden, especially in Christianity?” I wanted to take a notorious Christian story that is based on sex and creation, and visually show it for what it really is, sexual. So I painted these large pornographic paintings of giant brightly colored genitalia engaging in various forms of sex, and I’m really glad that I did. It was very liberating for me to challenge my own pre-programmed ideas about art and sex and shame and religion. Plus it was a lot of fun doing them.
The only problem with it was that I was always a little bit sheepish in showing them to people, and I wasn’t sure why. I thought that perhaps my Christian upbringing was so deeply rooted in me that in order to overcome that, I needed to face my fears and stand by this work, to become THAT artist, the Robert Mapplethorpe of spiritual art. What I realized is that I’m not quite ready to be THAT artist. I don’t want the entire body of work that I’ve done to be overshadowed by my small collection of graphic sex art. I don’t want to get type-cast into being the perverted pornographic artist, because it’s already hard enough to display any innocent nude painting with dignity while maintaining the purity of the subject matter. I don’t want to increase my following of perverted voyeuristic males that hover around my nude art. But most of all, I think I felt sheepish in showing these paintings because I really do believe that they are sacred, that sex is sacred.
I believe that ALL sex that is adult and consensual is a beautiful union and expression of creativity and connectivity; be it straight or gay, married or not, naughty or nice, trans, poly, vanilla, or kinky. The only kind of sex that is not sacred is rape and abuse by force or coercion. Consent is of paramount importance in the sacredness of sex, and the result of these beautiful consensual unions are always life-changing, whether we want to admit it or not.
So I chose to keep some things hidden for now and I painted over these paintings with my awesome oil paint sticks that are like giant adult crayons for artists. I know you’re all squinting at these pictures, trying to make out the images underneath, you perverts, (just kidding!) Then, I decided that I’m going to paint giant self portraits over them because this work and this message is still a part of me, but it’s a part that I will protect as private, except for maybe in the book I’m writing. I’m going to paint portraits of me as a passing male, how I will look with prominent features and facial hair once I have transitioned. I think they will end up being really special and meaningful to me as a whole process from start to finish.
As promised, I will show a picture of the one that I did not paint over. I just really like the colors and texture, and how it turned out. Here Eve is seen by herself but it is clear that she is not alone. She is being an exhibitionist, showing Adam the opening of her vagina without shame or reservation, beckoning him to come be inside of her and to be one with her in this sacred and universal creative union that brought each and every one of us into existence in this world, the catalyst of life that we call sex.
Sandy Parsons Art 